Siddarth Shukla

Breaking Free: Recognizing My Attachments and Embracing Renunciation

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reflecting on my life, particularly my daily routines and habits. It has become clear that I’ve been heavily attached to certain comforts—whether it’s indulging in food, seeking pleasure, or simply being accustomed to the security of the routine I’ve built for myself. These attachments aren’t necessarily bad, but they often keep me anchored in a cycle of comfort that holds me back from embracing necessary changes.

I’ve realized that a significant shift is required, especially as life moves forward. My family is growing, and with that comes a greater responsibility—not only emotionally but financially. Inflation is rising, and I understand that I will need to make more money to support my family. The cost of living is increasing, and the demands of raising a child require me to look beyond my current comfort zone and take action.

However, Bitcoin has been my source of strength throughout this journey. When I adopted the Bitcoin Standard in 2020, I unknowingly set a foundation for my future. If I had not adopted Bitcoin, I wouldn’t feel as calm or as prepared to start my own family. Bitcoin has provided me with a sense of financial stability and clarity, allowing me to focus on the things that matter most—my family and my future. It has not only transformed my financial life but also given me the mental peace to face challenges head-on.

I can feel the tension between my existing habits and the need for more discipline. I’ve been waking up early, meditating, and reflecting on how I should approach my day. But it’s not just about productivity—it’s about aligning my actions with the deeper needs of my life. Waking up before 5:30 AM has become a small but crucial commitment, and I’ve realized that even this simple act of self-discipline lays the groundwork for more profound change.

The truth is, I’ve been inconsistent in the past, especially when life throws me off balance. Travel, unexpected events, or big changes have often derailed my progress, and it takes time for me to regain the momentum I’ve built. But now, with a baby on the way, I feel that the stakes are higher. The routines I once used as a means of comfort can no longer be an excuse for inaction.

Recognizing Two Sides: Attachment vs. Renunciation

With patience and self-restraint, I’ve started to see two sides of my life more clearly. On one side, there’s the pull of ignorance and attachment to material desires—those things that boost my ego. I want the comforts of life without having to put in much effort. I want the flashy car, the great meals, and the undisciplined lifestyle, but at the same time, I expect to fulfill every material desire in the book. I want to provide my family with a comfortable lifestyle without putting in too much effort, staying in my current low-paying job, which feels easy.

I also see the side in me that wants to status signal—to drive flashy cars and show off in my hometown where people have doubted me.

The other side is one where I’ve learned to renounce these material desires. It’s not about giving up everything, but rather about focusing on doing what’s necessary, not for status or ego, but because it aligns with my deeper values. For instance, instead of buying that brand-new car, which would have easily boosted my ego, I chose to stick with my old car and invest in fixing our house—something that will truly benefit my growing family.

I see now how my attachment to comfort and material status has held me back, keeping me in a loop of seeking things that don’t truly fulfill me. At the same time, embracing renunciation doesn’t mean deprivation—it means choosing to do the things that are required for the right reasons, not for validation or to impress others.

This internal struggle between these two sides is a reflection of my journey. On one side, there’s the desire to have everything without doing much, and on the other, there’s the commitment to doing what’s necessary without the need for status signaling.

Action is Inevitable

In life, once we recognize the pull of renunciation, the battle with attachment begins. After a period of reflection, there comes a time when action is no longer avoidable. The conflict between our comfort-seeking tendencies and the need for renunciation becomes clear, and this is when the battle within starts.

I need to observe both sides of this battle within me: on one side, my attachment to material desires—the flashy car, status signaling, the comfortable lifestyle without much effort. On the other side, the path of renunciation—letting go of these desires, of my ego, and choosing to act out of purpose, not pride.

When I realized the need for renunciation—whether it was deciding to fix the house instead of buying a flashy car, or focusing on waking up early to work on my discipline—the battle with my attachments began. There was no turning back. Every decision to move forward came with resistance from the part of me that craves comfort, status, and easy gratification. But just like a warrior preparing for battle, it’s clear that the only way forward is to engage in the struggle and take decisive action.

The internal battle is not just about overcoming material desires—it’s about the constant tug of war between what’s easy and what’s meaningful. This is the moment where action becomes inevitable. Recognizing renunciation means there’s no going back, and the struggle has already begun. The battle is already in motion, and the only way to win is through conscious, disciplined effort.

Seeking Wisdom

I am humble enough to understand that my current understanding is not sufficient to get me out of my present situation. I am stepping into the unknown, realizing that I need to stay with the problem, stay with the attachment, and see things unbiasedly, rather than acting compulsively. This requires me to seek higher wisdom, beyond what I know today.

I don’t know what my ultimate goals are. I don’t have a clear direction for my actions yet. But I do understand one thing—action is inevitable now. The time for contemplation is over, and I know that I must act. What’s important to me is that my actions are righteous and aligned with my higher self. This means acting with awareness, with the knowledge that my attachments exist, but also with the intention of overcoming them.

It’s no longer about being passive or staying in the comfortable loop of routine. It’s about taking righteous action—purifying my thoughts, my behaviors, and my habits so that I’m living with integrity and purpose. This is the internal dialogue I must engage in every day—introducing my higher self into the moments when my lower self wants to act compulsively out of habit or attachment.

Reflection Before Action

As I sit here writing, I am reflecting. Each word brings me closer to understanding my desires—the attachments that are born from my ignorance. My writing itself has become a prayer to my higher self, to God, to the energy that guides me. I ask for that presence to be with me as I write, helping me inch closer to clarity and understanding. Whether it’s through my blog or on X, my writing is a way to figure out the aspects of life that I need to act on, to purify my actions, and to refine my thought process.

This act of documentation is my prayer—a way to seek guidance and clarity, so that my actions align with a deeper sense of purpose. It’s not just about external actions but about ensuring that the actions I take come from a place of awareness and intention, rather than being driven by attachment or habit.

This journey has taught me that before I can engage in any external battle, I must first confront the internal battle. I need to pause, reflect, and clearly see the forces at play—my attachments, desires, and the conflicts within. Only by seeking the guidance of my higher self can I ensure that my actions are grounded in clarity and purpose.