Siddarth Shukla

I know you’ve introspected, thinking about that seemingly impossible goal—whether it’s traveling solo, running a marathon, getting in shape, or starting a business. You’ve probably thought about it for years, and now inaction has settled in, creating anxiety.

When setting big goals, your mind often tricks you into focusing on the massive scale of the journey ahead, making you feel paralyzed. It’s easy to overlook the resources already around you. You might be so overwhelmed that you miss the simple starting point right in front of you—a pen and paper. Start by writing down your goals, focusing on small, manageable tasks that don’t trigger anxiety.

Building Consistency to Alleviate Anxiety

Big goals don’t have to be achieved overnight. Consistency in small actions is what truly matters. Begin with basic steps, ones that don’t cause anxiety, and commit to them daily. Whether it’s waking up at 5:30 am, jotting down a few thoughts, or focusing on one new habit at a time, these small actions are your path forward.

However, as we’ve discussed before, you will face challenges. Your mind will play tricks on you, convincing you that your relatives or friends need you at the exact time you’ve set aside for your own endeavors. You might sacrifice that time to please others, only to feel resentment later. How many times will you repeat the same pattern?

Think Selfishly and Set Boundaries

It’s crucial to think selfishly sometimes and prioritize your own goals. Set a specific time in your calendar for everything, and stay committed to it. Creating and protecting your schedule is key to building the life you want.

The Paradox of Validation and Boundaries

I know that part of you wants to achieve these goals for validation from the same people you’re trying to set boundaries with. It’s a paradox. Your mind tricks you into thinking that the whole point of your goal is to share that success and happiness with your family and friends. So, it asks, “What’s the point of creating distance or setting boundaries?”

This is where the real mental struggle happens. The truth is, achieving your goals is not just about seeking validation from others but about fulfilling a deeper need within yourself. When you set boundaries, you aren’t distancing yourself from those you love; you’re creating the space necessary to grow and achieve what you truly desire.

Most people fail to stay on track with their goals not because of a lack of effort but because of compassion toward their relationships. They don’t set healthy boundaries or put themselves first. For example, if you want to stay in and eat healthy after the gym, but a friend invites you for drinks, 98% of people will say, “I’ve had a great week; I deserve it.” This small slip often snowballs into the weekend, and before you know it, your weekday goals are forgotten until you start over again.

Navigating Through the Mind’s Tricks

Your mind will constantly try to pull you back into the comfort zone, making you second-guess your boundaries. Recognize that these tricks are part of the process. Use your small wins to push forward and remember that the journey to self-mastery involves overcoming these inner conflicts.

An Example in Family Business Dynamics

I’ve seen this anxiety play out among my friends involved in family businesses. Many don’t enjoy the family business and have other passions, but they stick with it because it’s comfortable. They don’t want to disappoint their fathers, uncles, or siblings. There’s a pressure to make the family proud, to work hard to make everyone wealthy, even if it means staying in an unfulfilling role. This is a tough cycle to break, especially when the desire to impress others overshadows personal fulfillment.

The Path Forward

The reality is that achieving your goals often requires thinking a bit selfishly and setting boundaries. Whether it’s creating a new business, pursuing a passion, or changing your lifestyle, you have to prioritize your well-being first. Remember, every step you take toward your goals is a victory, building the strength you need to face bigger challenges ahead.

So, if there’s a goal in your life that feels impossible, remember that anxiety and fear are part of the process. Take it one step at a time. Don’t drop the ball on your commitments, even when they feel small. These little steps, taken consistently, are what make the impossible possible. And more importantly, don’t lose sight of the resources you already possess—the skills, the habits, the past successes. These are your tools that will help you push through even when the going gets tough.