Siddarth Shukla

That’s where magic happens!

Growing up in a small village in India, I was taught to follow the rules without question. School was a place where we had to wear uniforms, arrive on time, and take permission for even the smallest things, like going to the washroom. Teachers were figures of authority, and their word was final. We didn’t question them; we memorized what they taught, answered the way they expected, and received validation in return.

In those days, questioning authority was almost unheard of. Teachers weren’t just authority figures—they were the gatekeepers of knowledge. They would teach us in class with the aid of a blackboard, give us homework, and if you didn’t finish the homework, you got punished; if you did, you were left alone. There was no scope for questioning or exploring curiosity with your teacher, so the answers weren’t personal—they were tailored to fit the teacher’s expectations. Curiosity wasn’t encouraged; it took a back seat to fulfilling the teacher’s expectations.

That’s where the problem started—instead of surrendering to my curiosity, I began seeking validation from others. This pattern of seeking approval carried into adulthood. The need for approval outweighed the desire for exploration.

Suppressing Curiosity to Please Authority

As kids, some of us realized that our teachers didn’t know everything. But the fear of embarrassing them in front of the class kept us from asking real questions. Instead, we settled for surface-level learning: memorizing, repeating, and passing exams. Our curiosity was quenched temporarily, but our deeper questions went unanswered. This habit of pleasing authority, rather than seeking our own truth, continued throughout my education and career.

This pattern extended beyond the classroom and workplace. We’re conditioned to please, to conform, and to seek validation from teachers, parents, peers, spouses, kids, and eventually even banks and politicians. The fear of asking tough questions, of breaking free from the status quo, keeps us locked in a cycle of low-level satisfaction. We get by, but our true potential remains untapped.

Breaking Free: Thinking for Yourself

It wasn’t until I started exploring my own thoughts and questions, especially through writing and creating, that I began to break free from the need for external validation. Thinking for myself allowed me to explore ideas that resonated with my own values, not just the expectations set by others. The process is not easy, and there are moments of discomfort. But slowly, I learned that the act of creating for myself—not for others—was freeing.

I started sharing my thoughts on X, writing blogs, and exploring ideas that interested me. Instead of worrying about whether my thoughts aligned with what others wanted to hear, I focused on expressing what felt true to me. This shift in mindset opened up new possibilities. The need to please others faded, and I began to find joy in the process of creation itself.

Write for Yourself: Creating without Seeking Approval

Writing for myself is a transformative process. I no longer worry about whether people will agree with me or whether my ideas will be validated by external sources. True creativity comes from within, not from a place of seeking approval. It’s challenging to break free from the conditioning of always trying to please others, but the most authentic and impactful creations come when you are writing or creating for yourself.

This doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate feedback or interaction—I do. But the foundation of my work now comes from a place of inner alignment. I write because it helps me explore my thoughts, question assumptions, and understand the world better—not because I want others to tell me I’m right.

Create for Yourself: Exploring Ideas, Not Seeking Perfection

Whether it’s writing, building, or starting something new, the mindset of “creating for yourself” is about exploring your ideas and following your curiosity, not about achieving perfection. Too often, we hold back from starting projects because we’re worried they won’t be “good enough.” We fear judgment or compare our work to others.

But the truth is, creation is messy. If you wait for the perfect moment or the perfect idea, you’ll never start. When you create for yourself, the process itself becomes the reward, and the result is often more authentic and impactful than anything you could have planned.

Idealism and the Fear of Disappointing Others

One of the biggest challenges with perfectionism is that it’s rooted in the need to impress others. We don’t just want to be good at what we do; we want others to see that we’re good at it. But before we dive deeper into this, we need to ask ourselves a few important questions:

• Who is setting these standards that we’re trying so hard to meet?
• How are we measuring our actions against these standards?
• Why did we give authority to these people or institutions to define what is “perfect” in the first place?
• And most importantly, why do we feel the need to benchmark our actions in comparison to their standards?

Often, we realize that we’ve unconsciously handed over the power to others—society, family, social media—to set the bar for what is “good enough” or “worthy.” This desire to impress comes hand in hand with the fear of disappointing those same people if we fail to meet these arbitrary standards we’ve set for ourselves. In reality, the pursuit of perfection and the fear of failure are two sides of the same coin.

Looking for Answers Outside Ourselves

We often search for answers in the external world, hoping for a quick fix or an easy solution. This habit stems from a fear of self-reflection and an unwillingness to face painful truths about ourselves. Most answers are difficult because they require us to change our mindset, habits, or behaviors—things that are not easy to confront.

Instead of asking the right questions and exercising patience, we look for answers that align with our desires and comfort zones. We skip the responsibility of introspection, expecting the world to give us answers without putting in the work. The truth is, the answers we seek are already inside us, waiting for us to explore and acknowledge them.

Embracing Authenticity in Life and Work

When I look at the world today, especially through the lens of social media and society’s expectations, I see a pattern of people striving for external validation. Whether it’s chasing material success, fitting into societal molds, or pleasing family and friends, people are stuck in a cycle of living for others. This mindset extends into how we work, how we approach relationships, and how we navigate life.

But living for yourself, just like writing and creating for yourself, requires breaking away from the need to conform to others’ expectations. It’s about aligning your actions with your own truth, even if that truth doesn’t match what society or the people around you expect.

Conclusion: Aligning with Your Own Truth

The journey to thinking, writing, and creating for yourself is not easy. It takes courage to break free from external validation and societal pressures. But the reward is worth it. You’ll find more joy, freedom, and authenticity in your work and life when you stop living to please others and start living to express your true self.

So, whether it’s in your work, your personal life, or your creative endeavors, ask yourself: Am I doing this for myself, or for someone else’s approval? If it’s the latter, it’s time to shift gears and start living, writing, and creating for yourself.